Fidgetiness: what is it from the point of view of psychology
Spoiler: haste divides and deprives people of happiness.
From this article you will learn:
What is fussiness
Why fussiness is formed and how it spoils life
How to get rid of fussiness
Is it possible to slow down the hustle and bustle in the moment
What is fussiness?
Fidgetiness is a human quality (sometimes a habit and sometimes a character trait) that shows up as excessive, often useless activity. A fussy person cannot sit still and lives in a constant feeling of running out of time.
Sometimes fussiness is described as chronic anxiety or agitation – an overexcited state that causes a person to move, act, or think chaotically due to inner fear and tension.
An example of the opposite is the slow life movement, which teaches people to follow the principle “Less but better.” Slow life is not just advice; it is a philosophy already used in business, art, marketing, and psychology.
People today think more about balance and conscious calm because the modern world forces us to constantly run: business people rush between meetings, parents rush between family and work, and children rush between clubs and homework.
All of this happens because society pushes us to become “successful,” to not fall behind the idealized lives on social media. The idea of happiness slowly gets replaced by the idea of “successful success.” Most people already have too much to do, but to feel “useful,” they try to do even more and even faster.
This constant race exhausts the body and mind. The body gets tired, sleep decreases, internal pressure increases, and emotions remain unprocessed. Haste does not always look obvious from the outside. Many calm-looking people may carry an inner storm: racing thoughts, chaotic decision-making, and constant pressure to solve several problems at once.
Hasty thinking leads to premature conclusions and poor decisions. Before we discuss this further, let’s understand where this haste comes from.
Why do people fuss?
In psychology, a person is seen as a biopsychosocial being. This means our habits always have roots in biology, upbringing, culture, and personal life experience.
Some personality traits are inherited. They can influence how emotional, impulsive, or energetic we are. Some people naturally have more internal energy and therefore more fussiness.
Anxiety is almost always behind fussiness. Fidgetiness can be a physical reaction to stress, an attempt by the brain to concentrate, or the opposite—an attempt to release tension.
Sometimes fussiness comes from mental conditions such as ADHD or OCD. High neural excitability makes it hard to stop obsessive or anxious thoughts, and the brain replaces mental restlessness with physical movement.
Upbringing also plays a big role. If a child is constantly rushed, criticized for being slow, or told to always be first, the habit of hurrying becomes part of their personality. The child begins to believe that being still is dangerous and that success comes only from constant effort.
Chronic haste also grows when people constantly compare themselves with others, fear missing out on life, want to change the world without clear priorities, or feel the pressure of time because of fear of death.
Society accelerates us too. In today’s world, everyone must be multitasking because social media makes it look normal to accomplish ten things a day. Productivity becomes a competition. In this race, we lose balance. We miss small joys like watching the sky, drinking tea slowly, or simply breathing. As a result, our well-being suffers.
How fussiness spoils the quality of life
Carl Honoré, in his book “No Fuss: How to Stop Rushing and Start Living,” explains that obsession with time is a major problem of modern life. General hurry and fussiness:
increase emotional burnout
worsen mental and physical health
reduce energy and time for loved ones
create tension in relationships
make children grow up too fast and lose their childhood
A modern child’s schedule is often shocking: school, homework, clubs, social pressure, house chores, and long-term worries about the future. This fast development slows down important skills like memory, critical thinking, and concentration.
Chronic fussiness can lead to depression, anxiety disorders, or addictions. Imagine Kolya, who tries to do everything and more every day. He may joke that he is “the most productive person in the company,” but inside he is suffering from stress, sleeplessness, and constant fatigue.
If you feel you are living in a “×2 speed mode,” your life pace may be too high. The good news is: fussiness can be controlled.
How to stop fussing
There are three major steps.
Step one: analyze what exactly accelerates you
Identify the triggers that make you rush.
For example, Peter notices he starts hurrying when:
a conversation touches sensitive topics
he listens to fast music
guests visit and he wants everything perfect
Knowing his triggers helps him stop the rush before it becomes chaotic.
Step two: develop emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence builds sensitivity, patience, and connection. It helps you avoid interrupting, rushing, or reacting aggressively.
To overcome fussiness, learn to:
listen actively
show empathy
regulate your emotions
Mindfulness is the main tool against turbulence. Even simple awareness exercises help the brain understand its emotions and actions more clearly over time.
Step three: find your comfortable pace of life
Observe how much time you need to complete your tasks calmly.
Petya knows he needs two hours before bedtime to relax and two hours in the morning to start the day with balance. If he begins his evening routine at 20:00, he can finish everything slowly, go to bed on time, and wake up refreshed. At this pace, he stops feeling as if he is “wasting time.”
Slowing down should not be rushed. Harmony requires attention to your inner feelings. If you need three hours for yourself, allow it. Learn to slow down in the moment.
How to get rid of fussiness in the moment
If you feel tension rising, try shifting your attention to something calming: number coloring, soft music, poetry, stroking a pet.
Imagine Lena at dinner. When her partner touches a topic she loves, she becomes overly excited. She talks fast, thinks fast, moves fast. Fidgetiness stops her from listening and leads to irritation or aggression.
To calm the fussiness, Lena can:
wash her hands or dishes in cool water
breathe slowly
focus on silence
slow her movements and speech
sit without her phone and listen to city sounds
Another useful method is the ABC diary, which helps structure emotional reactions:
A – what happened
B – what you felt physically and emotionally
C – how you reacted or withdrew
This helps reveal the triggers behind anxiety and fussiness.
Finally, remember that fussiness is often an empty habit. Speed does not guarantee quality. Impulsiveness rarely leads to wise decisions.
Ask yourself:
What triggered this behavior?
Why am I rushing?
How does fussiness feel in my body?
What thoughts are driving it?
Where does this pace lead me?
Fidgetiness often signals stress, emotional overload, or imbalance. It wastes energy instead of saving time. But with awareness and your own anti-anxiety tools, you can slow down and live at a healthier, calmer pace.