Why do purchased items make you feel guilty and what to do about it?
the branded bags and boxes, you suddenly start feeling guilty about the money you spent and scold yourself for overspending?
Let’s explore why this feeling arises and how to approach shopping wisely and truly enjoy it.
From this article you will learn:
- Why do you feel guilty after shopping?
- how to learn to spend money without regret;
- What are some additional ways to combat buyer guilt?
Why do you feel guilty after shopping?
1. General financial anxiety and a feeling of instability
Financial stress is the most common of all types of stress. When faced with debt, an unstable income, or the fear of running out of money, even small expenses trigger anxiety. Financial anxiety manifests itself through insomnia, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. As a result, even planned expenses can feel threatening, and after a purchase, self-flagellation sets in: “What if I need this money for something important?” “What if I lose my job tomorrow?” Thus, the feeling of guilt is not caused by the purchase itself, but by the overall instability.
2. Lack of money and limited budget
When money isn’t enough to cover basic needs, every extra expense becomes a cause for concern. People may blame themselves for spending “on something extra,” as it comes at the expense of more important needs or saving for a rainy day.
3. Impulse buying
If a purchase is made under the influence of emotion or aggressive advertising, a feeling of disappointment later sets in— hedonic adaptation . The realization that the item isn’t used or needed leads to thoughts of unconsciousness and weak willpower: “I wasted my money; why did I even need it?”
Interestingly, people who regularly make impulse purchases experience less cognitive dissonance over time, even when they are disappointed with the purchase. The main reason for this is that experienced impulse shoppers lack high expectations about the product they purchase.
But those less prone to emotional purchases truly suffer. Realizing their purchase was made on impulse, they begin to reproach themselves for not having taken the time and effort to thoroughly research the product and determine how well the purchase met their real needs and expectations.
4. Comparing yourself to others is social pressure.
Social media, stories from more successful friends, and the reproaches of relatives who think it’s “high time you got an apartment and a car” create the feeling that you’re spending “inappropriately”: on the wrong things, in the wrong amounts, on the wrong brands. This leads to dissatisfaction with your choices or shame for trying to meet other people’s expectations and standards, even at the expense of your own comfort.
5. Lack of financial goals and strategy
When you don’t have a clear understanding of why you’re saving or how you want to spend your money, your spending becomes chaotic. This leads to the feeling that money is slipping through your fingers and you have no control over your life.
6. Buyer’s remorse
After an expensive purchase, a person may begin to imagine alternative scenarios:
- Was it possible to save money?
- Is this thing really worth the money?
- What if I had chosen something cheaper?
7. Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
People prone to perfectionism may feel guilty about any less-than-perfect decisions, even if the purchase is objectively justified. Any financial mistake is perceived as a personal failure—for example, if the item (or service) purchased is slightly cheaper the next day.
8. Financial attitudes and family scenarios
If, as a child, your parents conveyed the ideas of “spending is bad,” “you need to save,” and “you need to save for a rainy day,” then shopping for pleasure can trigger internal conflict. Even the most desired item triggers a resentment: “I did wrong by overindulging.”
9. The influence of advertising
Aggressive marketing messages push people to spend, suggesting that a quality life is impossible without the latest and greatest. After the emotional high subsides, disappointment and guilt for succumbing to manipulation set in.
10. Financial dependence and self-esteem related to money
Some people associate a sense of security exclusively with a certain amount of money or property. Any spending is perceived as a threat to self-esteem, and independence seems impossible without savings. This leads to anxiety and guilt about purchases.
11. Personal experience and financial trauma
Past losses, debts, or major spending mistakes leave a mark: people become afraid of repeating the unpleasant experience. Even after a great purchase, they may experience fear and guilt due to painful memories.
12. “The Paradox of Choice”
The more options there are , the more difficult it is to choose and the greater the disappointment, which can lead to emotional exhaustion and doubts – even if the purchase is objectively a good one.
- Guilt stemming from a ban on self-care —when a person has a habit of self-denial, self-indulgence, or even victimization. A person who worries about a purchase feels as if they can’t explain it to themselves or defend their opinion to themselves. This happens when parents didn’t allow them to have their own opinions, make choices, or wear and eat what they want.
- Fear of making mistakes. Sometimes people find it difficult to forgive themselves for a mistake, so even before they take action, they’re overwhelmed by mental ruminations: what if I don’t wear this?/I don’t need this?/I can buy it cheaper? But making mistakes is normal. You need to understand that your choices are based on the circumstances you find yourself in at a given moment. For example, if you bought plane tickets, and the next day they went down in price, don’t beat yourself up, because plane prices are unpredictable and could have gone up. So you did everything you could.
- Fear for the future. Sometimes impulsive purchases negatively impact your budget, and you start to worry: “How will I survive until payday?” Living beyond your means is truly dangerous. If you do this regularly, perhaps you should improve your financial literacy or consult a psychologist. But if this happens rarely, remember that you made the impulsive purchase to please your inner child. So, don’t burden yourself with such negative thoughts.
Here are some basic tips to help you get rid of unfounded feelings of guilt.
Reflect
After you’ve made a purchase, stop and ask yourself a few questions: “How am I feeling right now? Am I experiencing joy, delight, peace—or guilt, anxiety, and self-dissatisfaction?”
Try to distinguish between valid emotions
For example, reasonable frustration over an obviously impulsive, unnecessary expense, and overly self-critical reactions when even a small pleasure triggers a wave of guilt. Analyze whether the purchase was truly unnecessary, or whether your dissatisfaction is the result of strict childhood attitudes or societal stereotypes. Allow yourself the right to enjoy yourself—after all, spending on yourself , for joy and comfort, is not only acceptable but also helps strengthen psychological well-being. Recognizing that you deserve to enjoy life reduces internal conflict and allows you to be more honest with yourself.
Develop healthy financial habits
- Make a wish list. Writing down your “wants” shifts your focus from impulse to reflection. This helps you distinguish momentary desires from truly important needs. Before purchasing something, take some time to consider it briefly—the so-called pause technique. Give yourself at least a few hours, or better yet, a day, to make a decision, especially if the amount involved is significant.
- Manage your budget. Set a safe amount for spontaneous purchases, and plan larger purchases in advance, taking into account your financial capabilities. This approach gives you a sense of inner support and control. Over time, you’ll learn to analyze the motives behind each purchase, and this will lead to more mindful purchases. If you do succumb to an impulse purchase, don’t beat yourself up—try to learn from it and accept that none of us are perfect.
Learn self-help techniques
If feelings of guilt or regret do arise, it’s important to help yourself here and now. Start with breathing techniques: a few deep breaths and focusing on the present moment can help reduce anxiety and bring you back to your senses. Then, mentally offer yourself kind words of encouragement—be kind to yourself, as if you were comforting a loved one, and avoid attacking yourself with criticism.
Learn to assess the situation more or less objectively
Weigh the real harm and benefit of a purchase. We often scold ourselves for trivial things, not noticing how much joy or benefit the expense brought us. Talk to yourself from a place of caring:
“I try to do nice things for myself, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Even if the purchase isn’t the best, it’s just an experience that will allow me to be wiser next time.”
It’s important not just to stop self-criticism, but to learn a lesson: what prompted me to make that extra purchase? Was it stress, pressure, or an old habit? Draw your own conclusions without judgment.
Rethink your purchases
Learn to enjoy what you’ve acquired, even if it’s small pleasures like a book, coffee, or a favorite treat. Small joys are an important component of emotional well-being. They help you develop a positive relationship with money: it not only begins to leave, but also returns in the form of daily positive emotions.
Try to evaluate the importance of a thing or experience for yourself
Comparisons with other people’s purchases often devalue your experience, undermine your enjoyment, and create unfounded disappointment.
To please yourself, spend money on things that will bring you pleasure for a long time.
Pay attention to expenses that are less susceptible to hedonic adaptation—purchases whose pleasure fades slowly. According to researchers, these include:
- Travel. The anticipation of a trip, the new impressions it creates, and the memories it leaves behind create powerful emotions . We remember experiences better than material things, and we value them more highly—even if not everything goes perfectly.
- Small pleasures. Small expenses like take-out coffee, a massage, or a manicure, if done infrequently, also remain enjoyable for a long time if they are slightly different each time and don’t become boring.
- Saving time. Spending on services that help free up time—cleaning, delivery, taxis—improves well-being, relieves stress, and allows you to relax or pursue your favorite activities.
- Spending on loved ones. Shopping for friends and family makes us happier because it strengthens social connections, regardless of income level.
- Self-improvement. Investing in education, sports, hobbies, or counseling can provide long-lasting satisfaction, especially if you vary your activities and set new goals.
Scientific research often cites the following example: if someone runs ten kilometers for the first time, they will feel a sense of pride and their happiness will increase. However, if they subsequently run the same distance regularly, the emotions will dull: habituation will set in, and they will no longer experience the same pleasure. To avoid this, it’s important to vary your training conditions: try new routes or increase or decrease the distance.
This approach helps maintain interest and enjoyment beyond just running. For example, if you’re into ceramics, try attending workshops with different professionals. If you’re into knitting, try learning new techniques. And, as scientists advise, be sure to regularly set new goals. The key is to make them challenging enough to be rewarding, but not so challenging that they seem impossible. Then the joy of each accomplishment will be especially intense.
“There must be balance in everything. A person is unlikely to enjoy a major purchase, say, new furniture or a vacation abroad, if they’ve lost their job or their income has been significantly reduced for some reason, and the purchase is being made with their last money. Therefore, it’s always important to plan your spending and set goals, both short-term and long-term. And before buying anything, you need to carefully weigh the pros and cons, put the purchase aside for a while, and ask yourself: do you really need it now and can you do without it or postpone it for a while—perhaps the store will announce a special offer and you can buy it for less.”
What else can help overcome guilt?
Remember that you can always return an item if you realize you don’t need it immediately after purchase. For example, you can use the Law on Consumer Protection , which states that high-quality non-food items can be exchanged or returned within 14 days if the shape, dimensions, style, color, or size are not right.